(day88)

ive decided today that im going to sell all of our baby stuff that our daughter doesnt use. it doesnt make sense to have it all here if were not getting pregnant anytime soon. im gathering everything up today and taking it tomorrow. im just tired of being depressed over negative pregnancy tests. i still plan on seeing my dr because if anything, pcos can be dangerous to your body because of the risk of diabetes and we all know i could do without the weight gain that has come along with it lol.
i would just really love to have a monthly before i hit triple digits in my cycle days.
i feel like everyone around me is pregnant. a woman i know is pregnant with baby #6 and she doesnt see her other 5 cause she lost custody of them after being proven unfit. how is it possible that we're not pregnant yet? she had the nerve to say "youre not pregnant yet? it doesnt take me that long"... really?
im wondering if this feeling of defeat will go away once i talk to my dr? im gonna go talk to some of my ttc friends for some support...

(day85)

no changes as of yet. i would even love to say that ive gotten my monthly. i might even be excited to see it. atleast that would mean that my body recognizes an unfertilized egg. but im afraid there is no egg at all this time around. i just wish i could get into the doctor to know what my problem is. if we know what the problem is, we can fix it, right? maybe i am being a little pushy with complaining about not being pregnant after 6 "short" months but there was no problem concieving Bianca. whats wrong this time? and 6 months isnt short at all when you are planning an addition to your family. its become my own personal eternity. lack of patience hasnt helped me either. i think im done ranting online for now. ugh.